A summer drink, even though it's barely 60ºF here.

With the perhaps delusional belief that summer will soon arrive here in the Midwest, despite all meteorological indications to the contrary, I'm starting to experiment with warm weather drinks. Today's is the first taste of a new one for me, the Bitter Lemon Cooler. Previously hamstrung in my attempts to even locate Bitter Lemon soda that wasn't laced with my arch-nemesis, High Fructose Corn Syrup, I finally succeeded yesterday in locating a four pack of the stuff made by Stirrings. Imagine my frustration when, after procuring my elusive ingredient, I learned that bitter lemon is nothing more that lemon juice and tonic water mixed. I'm sure there's a bit more to it than that, but that's the long and the short of it. Next time I'll just try that! But at any rate, I started browsing around for drinks that use the stuff, and here we go.

Bitter Lemon Cooler

1 1/2 oz dry vermouth
1 oz gin
1/4 oz grenadine
1/4 oz lemon juice

shake all with ice, strain into a tall, ice-filled glass, and top with bitter lemon soda, stirring gently to combine.

My first reaction when I tasted this was that it was surprisingly flowery. I'm assuming that came from the vermouth and the Bitter Lemon...but there's very little bitterness in this, nor sourness, which is surprising and a little dismaying, frankly. If I had it to do over again, I'd swap the gin to vermouth ratio, and add a little more lemon juice. This, as is, is just way too sweet to be an effective cooler on a hot day. That said, it's still drinkable, but it's more something I'd serve to a maiden aunt than drink myself.

Live and learn, I guess...

"Son, I do say, son! Fetch me down my hangin' rope!"

Much umbrage and discord has resulted from the debate over the methodology of the proper mixing of a Mint Julep, but nearly all of it boils down to this question: do you muddle the mint prior to adding the bourbon or leave it unmuddled? Well, I've decided to solve this Gordian Knot in my own way, by offending everyone and deconstructing the whole damn thing into my take on it. My experimental technique (kids, wear your safety goggles!) does away with any mint leaves in the drink at all, and no granulated sugar, either! I made a special mint syrup instead! Now, unless you live in Wisconsin, odds are you won't be able to get the precise ingredient I used to add my unique twist on the drink, but you can order it for your next Derby day (or for this coming summer...it's good anytime!) and, if nothing else, I'll give you a guide to making something similar, though not quite identical.

You'll need a little bit of prep time for this, say a couple hours, just enough to give the syrup time to cool down before adding it to your ice and bourbon. Or you can prep it the night before, and take a batch with you to your Derby Day celebration. You'll need to procure some Sweet Mint Organic Botanical Blend from Rishi Tea, plus some dried peppermint. Infuse two tablespoons of the Rishi blend plus 1 tablespoon of peppermint in 5 ounces of boiling water for about 5-10 minutes; the leaves will soak up about an ounce of water, so if you drop below 4 oz after removing the leaves, just add enough hot water to bring it back up to four. Add 1/2 cup of cane sugar to the still hot liquid, and stir until dissolved, ending up with about 6 ounces by volume. Bottle and cool until time to build your julep. If you can't locate the Rishi tea and don't feel like ordering it, but your favorite grocery carries Yogi brand tea, you can get by with their "Egyptian Licorice Mint" variety...2 teabags of that plus 1 tablespoon of dried peppermint should do it. Infuse as above.

Now, to build your drink, fill your Collins glass with cracked ice, add an ounce of your mint syrup, three ounces of bourbon (or rye if you live above the Mason-Dixon line, or if you just prefer rye), swizzle gently, top again with cracked ice, pour an additional 1/2 oz of your mint syrup on top, and let it sit for about five minutes before sipping. In case you're wondering just how much ice you'll need, the answer is "a lot," as I cracked an entire tray of ice for one Collins glass. On the plus side, the glass frosted itself after I swizzled it, which is always pretty damn cool! If you want to be really contrary, you can garnish with a mint sprig, but that'd be silly, after going through all that work to avoid using real mint leaves in the drink. Best to leave it ungarnished.

I must admit, prior to sampling this drink, I was worried that it would not have as much of a mint flavor as one might hope. Happily, it does. Plus, the addition of the other herbs in the infusion make for something a little more complex than your typical mint-sugar-water-bourbon Julep. If you really wanted to commit sacrilege and play up the licorice notes in your syrup, you could add a scant 1/8 oz of absinthe or Pernod or an anisette of some sort (or even Green Chartreuse). It would be a scandal if the word got out, but it would certainly bring a dollop of new life to that staid old grey mare of Derby tradition.

Oh Rickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind...

One of the simple pleasures of summertime drinking is the Gin Rickey. It's got exactly three ingredients, is quick to assemble, and somehow manages to cut through all the heat and humidity like a knife made of dry ice. And while it's not yet summer, it's still a good time to brush up on the finer points of the Rickey.

A good Gin Rickey is nothing more than lime juice, dry gin, and your bubbly water of choice, be it club soda, seltzer, or Wonka's Fizzy Lifting Drink (Warning: Consuming a Gin Rickey made with Wonka's Fizzy Lifting Drink may be hazardous to your health and/or altitude. Consumer discretion is advised). Some people may say that you need to add sugar to it, but they are horrible liars that you should shun at all costs. Here's the technique I use...

Squeeze the juice of 1/2 a lime into a tall Collins glass full of ice. Add 2 oz of London dry gin, chuck in the lime shell, and fill to the top with your fizzy liquid of choice. I've been known to add a drop or three of orange bitters as well, but I'm eccentric that way. I've even tried it once with a sparkling blood orange soda, which was really quite good, although I renamed that particular concoction...yeah, since it was orange I decided it wasn't a "Gin Rickey" so much as a "Lucy Ricardo." Please, hold your applause, just throw cash.



It's not a really fancy drink to look at, but it's a damned good drink to have while, say, waiting for those burgers/chicken breasts/brats/steaks/salmon filets/black bean patties on the grill to finish up on your next summer cookout.
Just make sure you don't drink only Gin Rickeys while out in the noon-day sun, even if you are an Englishman and/or mad dog. Stay properly hydrated! Remember, if it starts to look like this... put down the glass and go have some water.

I'm sorry, that's never happened to me before...

But it could! It could happen to anyone. You come home from a long day of working/studying/underwater basket weaving/loafing about, and you're just too wiped out to even think about making some convoluted cocktail. But you still think a drink would be nice. But then you think, "Oh, man, just liquor and ice is gonna be kinda harsh..." And if the bus drops below 50 miles an hour, the bomb on board will be armed. What do you do, hotshot? What do you do?

Wait, sorry. That was a movie there at the end, wasn't it? With Sandra Bullock, and Keanu Reeves with no hair, and Dennis Hopper, what a bastard, and Jeff Daniels is already dead. I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Anyway. Forget that crap about the bus and the bomb and wooden acting. You want a drink, you don't want to make a fuss, and you don't want to suck down just straight liquor. One option might be a highball of some sort. I opted for a Collins. Most people are familiar with the Tom Collins (no, not the guy from "Rent!"), which is just gin and bar sugar and lemon juice and fizzy water. But I had gin yesterday, so let's move on to a new spirit for this blog (reruns notwithstanding); RUM! Yes, you can make a Rum Collins, though it works better with lime than with lemon. And it couldn't be simpler.

1 teaspoon bar sugar
juice of 1/2 lime
2 dashes Angostura bitters
2 oz light rum
soda water to top

Just combine the first four ingredients over ice, stirring briskly with your trusty bar spoon, and then top up with soda water, garnish with a lime wedge, and serve with a stirring rod.

Dead simple, but not boring. The fizz, which is always fun, lifts this out of the realm of the boring and, dare I say it, sort of pushes the flavors around in your mouth. If I may be excused a glowing product endorsement, I made this with Mount Gay Eclipse rum, and it's excellent. Mount Gay in Barbados is the oldest continually operating rum distillery in the world, so they know a thing or two. Their rum's got a nice, fruity flavor and some vanilla-y notes that are really nice opposite the lime and bitters. The sugar keeps it from burning too much, and the dilution with the club soda means you can drink it without wincing.

Now, for a laugh, if you made this with whiskey and lemon, what would you think it'd be called? Yes, Whiskey Collins is one correct answer, but also goes by "Joan Collins."

Tomorrow, just to tease you, I'll mix up a rum drink named after a Marx Brother. And no, it's not a "Zeppo" or a "Gummo." Because really, would you drink something called a "Gummo?"