I'm sorry, that's never happened to me before...

But it could! It could happen to anyone. You come home from a long day of working/studying/underwater basket weaving/loafing about, and you're just too wiped out to even think about making some convoluted cocktail. But you still think a drink would be nice. But then you think, "Oh, man, just liquor and ice is gonna be kinda harsh..." And if the bus drops below 50 miles an hour, the bomb on board will be armed. What do you do, hotshot? What do you do?

Wait, sorry. That was a movie there at the end, wasn't it? With Sandra Bullock, and Keanu Reeves with no hair, and Dennis Hopper, what a bastard, and Jeff Daniels is already dead. I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Anyway. Forget that crap about the bus and the bomb and wooden acting. You want a drink, you don't want to make a fuss, and you don't want to suck down just straight liquor. One option might be a highball of some sort. I opted for a Collins. Most people are familiar with the Tom Collins (no, not the guy from "Rent!"), which is just gin and bar sugar and lemon juice and fizzy water. But I had gin yesterday, so let's move on to a new spirit for this blog (reruns notwithstanding); RUM! Yes, you can make a Rum Collins, though it works better with lime than with lemon. And it couldn't be simpler.

1 teaspoon bar sugar
juice of 1/2 lime
2 dashes Angostura bitters
2 oz light rum
soda water to top

Just combine the first four ingredients over ice, stirring briskly with your trusty bar spoon, and then top up with soda water, garnish with a lime wedge, and serve with a stirring rod.

Dead simple, but not boring. The fizz, which is always fun, lifts this out of the realm of the boring and, dare I say it, sort of pushes the flavors around in your mouth. If I may be excused a glowing product endorsement, I made this with Mount Gay Eclipse rum, and it's excellent. Mount Gay in Barbados is the oldest continually operating rum distillery in the world, so they know a thing or two. Their rum's got a nice, fruity flavor and some vanilla-y notes that are really nice opposite the lime and bitters. The sugar keeps it from burning too much, and the dilution with the club soda means you can drink it without wincing.

Now, for a laugh, if you made this with whiskey and lemon, what would you think it'd be called? Yes, Whiskey Collins is one correct answer, but also goes by "Joan Collins."

Tomorrow, just to tease you, I'll mix up a rum drink named after a Marx Brother. And no, it's not a "Zeppo" or a "Gummo." Because really, would you drink something called a "Gummo?"